Miscellaneous Rumbles

Bass Player joke


Found this in my inbox this morning:

"Did you hear about the Bass player who was so upset by his poor timing that he threw himself behind a train?"


What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a bassist? The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.

What do you throw a drowning bass player? His Amp.

What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm? A tattoo.

How many bassists does it take to pave a driveway? Seven, but you have to slice them thin and lay them out correctly.

A boy came home from his first bass lesson. His dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the E string." The boy came home from his second lesson and dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the A string." The boy came home from his third lesson. Dad asked, "So did you learn the D string today?" "Nope. Today I had a gig."

What does a bass player use as a contraceptive? His personality!

Why can't bass players get through a door? He either can't find the key, or he doesn't know when to come in!

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 - 5, 1 - 5, 1- 5...

A couple was having marital difficulties and consulted a marriage counselor. After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication. "You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo. Then you'll be talking just like everyone else."

How many strings are on a bass guitar? 4 too many.

What's the difference between a bass and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a bass.


Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car? It took him twenty minutes to get his drummer and all their gear out.


If the story is true, you shouldn't tell that joke around Charlie Watts.


When my son saw my new bass, he said "three too many strings". Now I just learned that there are in fact seven too many...

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