Miscellaneous Rumbles

Bass Player joke

1

Found this in my inbox this morning:

"Did you hear about the Bass player who was so upset by his poor timing that he threw himself behind a train?"

3

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a bassist? The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.

What do you throw a drowning bass player? His Amp.

What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm? A tattoo.

How many bassists does it take to pave a driveway? Seven, but you have to slice them thin and lay them out correctly.

A boy came home from his first bass lesson. His dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the E string." The boy came home from his second lesson and dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the A string." The boy came home from his third lesson. Dad asked, "So did you learn the D string today?" "Nope. Today I had a gig."

What does a bass player use as a contraceptive? His personality!

Why can't bass players get through a door? He either can't find the key, or he doesn't know when to come in!

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 - 5, 1 - 5, 1- 5...

A couple was having marital difficulties and consulted a marriage counselor. After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication. "You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo. Then you'll be talking just like everyone else."

How many strings are on a bass guitar? 4 too many.

What's the difference between a bass and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a bass.

4

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car? It took him twenty minutes to get his drummer and all their gear out.

5

If the story is true, you shouldn't tell that joke around Charlie Watts.

6

When my son saw my new bass, he said "three too many strings". Now I just learned that there are in fact seven too many...


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