Miscellaneous Rumbles

Bass Player joke

1

Found this in my inbox this morning:

"Did you hear about the Bass player who was so upset by his poor timing that he threw himself behind a train?"

3

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a bassist? The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.

What do you throw a drowning bass player? His Amp.

What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm? A tattoo.

How many bassists does it take to pave a driveway? Seven, but you have to slice them thin and lay them out correctly.

A boy came home from his first bass lesson. His dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the E string." The boy came home from his second lesson and dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the A string." The boy came home from his third lesson. Dad asked, "So did you learn the D string today?" "Nope. Today I had a gig."

What does a bass player use as a contraceptive? His personality!

Why can't bass players get through a door? He either can't find the key, or he doesn't know when to come in!

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 - 5, 1 - 5, 1- 5...

A couple was having marital difficulties and consulted a marriage counselor. After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication. "You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo. Then you'll be talking just like everyone else."

How many strings are on a bass guitar? 4 too many.

What's the difference between a bass and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a bass.

4

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car? It took him twenty minutes to get his drummer and all their gear out.

5

If the story is true, you shouldn't tell that joke around Charlie Watts.

6

How many strings does a double bass have? Twice as many as a single bass.

7

What do you say to a bassist in a three piece suit?

"Will the defendant please rise."

For more bassist jokes, go to the bobandtom website.

8

Being a part time bass player, I can't join in on those, but I have a few drummer jokes.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.

What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? At least a pizza can feed a family of 4.

What does a stipper do to her @$$hole before going to work? Give him his drum stick and drop him at rehearsal.

And finally, how do you make a guitarist stop playing? Put some sheet music in front of him!

9

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

10

Now, that last one hurts : the keyboard player's left hand is the main foe!

11

What's the difference between a bass case and a coffin?

With a coffin, the corpse is on the inside.

12

How do you know when there's a drummer at your door?

The knock slows down and you can smell pizza.

13

Couldn't resist:

14

Did you hear about the bass player that was so out of tune that even other bass players could tell?

Dylan

15

16

Being a part time bass player, I can't join in on those, but I have a few drummer jokes.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.

What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? At least a pizza can feed a family of 4.

What does a stipper do to her @$$hole before going to work? Give him his drum stick and drop him at rehearsal.

And finally, how do you make a guitarist stop playing? Put some sheet music in front of him!

– Ripley1046

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.

I heard that one but it was a bass player

17

How can you tell if the stage is level? ...the drool comes out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

19

Another little bass joke:

20

You're just using drummer jokes and changing the name. I think the funniest thing about bass players is that most of them think their instrument is called a bass guitar.

21

Sometimes it's right, Billy :

22

Sometimes it's right, Billy :

– Thomas

For sale, my Precision bass. Sunburst, Heartbroke...

...wow....

23

The guy in the video is playing an "electric bass". It is not a Bass Guitar. A Bass Guitar has six strings and is tuned one octave below a regular guitar. They were very popular in the sixties for what was called "Tic Tac" bass.
An Electric Bass has four strings and was designed to take the place of the Upright Bass. It is tuned one octave below the bottom four strings of a regular guitar.
Since the '90's, it's become popular to restring Bass Guitars with lighter gauge strings and then tune them up half an octave. This was refered to as baritone, but they had 30" scales, and the term Baritone refered to the tuning. The instrument is still a Bass Guitar.
More recently, the popularity of baritone tuning has lead to the development of the Baritone Guitar, an instrument with a 27" scale, which is designed to be tuned a half octave between a regular guitar and a Bass Guitar.
My point to all this is that, if you insist on calling an Electric Bass a bass guitar, then what do you ask for when you want an actual Bass Guitar? Words count, even in this century. BZ
(Don't ever get me started on jig saw vs sabre saw.)

24

My post was about the guy's technique, using a basic ( if a Sandberg can be called basic) 4 string P bass. He mixes typical bass tech ( fingerstyle and slap) with guitar technique (flamenco style) quite impressively.
About the instrument itself, you're right if you stick to "classic" basses: electric bass with sometimes an added lower string on one side, and instruments like the bass VI on the other side.
But people have been blurring the lines for some time now : 6 or 7 strings basses, starting as low as a low B, ang going up way into guitar territory.
I don't particularly appreciate the music usually played on these, but many people now DO play "bass guitar" and for a lot more than tic-tac!


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