Gretsch Discussion Pages ► Miscellaneous Rumbles
So, what’s your blues name?
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I know these have been done before, but they're still worth a chuckle...
Link...
I'm Happy Fingers Parker, apparently
Boney Fingers Malone
Big Liver Bailey
LOL, that is a good one
well, according to your link, it would be :
Buddy "Sugar" Bailey.
I think I like the one that Larry Graham's wife gave me, "cornbread".
"Dr. Gretsch" ,,,
One time is it was "Gator Head Johnson" when I was in a Zydeco Band!
Ugly Sugar Jenkins.
Question is, how did they know that?
I'm Old Fingers Thompkins.
Well that seems right: It was my birthday recently so I must be pretty old. I still have all my fingers and of course Thompkins.... uhmm, hey.. my name ain't Thompkins!
Fancy Pants McGee
My girlfriend is Toothless Gumbo Brown, she's not too pleased with that one. I'm Big Money McGee, I wish.
Jeff, use the link that was posted by the OP.
Sleepy Bones Bradley. funny i always thought you needed a fruit, aliment, and a dead presedent. clubfoot kiwi Jackson!
Jailhouse Baby Lee here.
He`s some blues rules.
The Blues in 20 Easy Lessons
Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning...."
"I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues unless you stick something nasty in the next line, such as , "I got a good woman with the meanest face in town."
The Blues is simple: After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes, sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."
The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch. Ain’t no way out.
Blues cars are: Chevy, Ford, Cadillac, and broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Blues NEVER go on the northbound train. Jet aircraft and government motor pools ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in a Blues life style. So does fixin’ to die.
Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
Blues can take place in New York City, but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. The best places to have the Blues are Chicago, St.Louis, and Kansas City. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don’t get rain.
A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is.
Breaking your leg ‘cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg ‘cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
You can’t have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot, or sit by the dumpster.
Good places for the Blues: highway, jailhouse, empty bed, bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places for the Blues: Macy’s, gallery openings, Ivy League institutions, and golf courses.
No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you are an old guy, and you slept in it for the last six months.
You have the right to sing the Blues if: you older than dirt, or you blind, or you shot a man in Memphis, or you can’t be satisfied. You do not have the right to sing the Blues if you have all your own teeth, or you were once blind but now can see, or the man in Memphis lived, or if you have a 401K trust fund.
Blues is not a matter of color, it’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.
If you ask for water and your darlin’ give you gasoline, it’s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: cheap wine, whiskey or bourbon, muddy water, nasty black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: Perrier, Chardonnay, Snapple, Slim Fast.
If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken cot. You cannot have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
17 Some Blues names for women: Big-leg Mama, Bessie, Fat River Dumplin’. Some Blues names for men: Big John, Willie, Little Willie, Big Willie.
Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, Andrew, Christopher, and Todd can’t sing the blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
Make-Your-Own-Blues-Name Starter-Kit: a. Name of physical infirmity, such as Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc. b. Add the name of a fruit, such as Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc. c. Last name of a president, such as Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc. Examples: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore. Well, maybe not "Kiwi."
I don’t care how tragic your life, if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the Blues.
Jailhouse Bones Rivers here apparently
Boney Money McGee.
I'm Skinny Fingers Rivers. Perhaps we're related, Michiel .
Buddy "Dog" Lee
Blind Lemon Pledge
Ugly Bad Boy Dupree... :/ My friends is Jailhouse Bones Washington... That even sounds Bad.
Blind Harp McGee.
I knew we were related Bear.
John is my long lost brother from another mother.
With that chart we're bound to be!
Screamin' Dog Hopkins here. But my bandmates call me Tone Deaf Willie. My ex called me something entirely different.
Blind Lemon Pie Not kidding! Used it in '90/'91 for the theme of a blues show in radio, back in my Houstonian days.
Gene Kelton blew harp for me on it, and I helped with his 1st 45 single *Blow Up Lover
*, which he autographed to me as Blind Lemon Pie. lol