Miscellaneous Rumbles

Idiot warps wife’s wooden bowls with water, would wike to wectify w…

76

I'm beginning to wonder if there was actually a 'friend' there at all?

77

My "friend" is good at getting into trouble.....just sayin....

78

With so many competing factions (Clampers & Steamers, versus Burners, versus Shoppers, versus Followers Of Standard Medical Practice, versus Milliners & Other Repurposers), it is a miracle in these benighted times that this did not cause a stushie, or possibly even a stramash.

I am glad to hear that your friend and his patient wife are still able to eat salad in the manner to which they had become accustomed.

79

Now I know why I steer clear of salads, unless they're sold ready to go in their own little box. Same with milk jugs -- the milk producer provides perfectly usable containers with a handy screw top -- and should you drop one, it'll bounce. I've no idea why in our house we need at least a dozen milk jugs.

80

A few observations, and a conclusion from those observations.

Obs 1: At my friend's house, there seems to be a distaff domestic interest in latching plastic food containers of the generically Tupperware type - not Tupperware brand, of course - that would be positively normal (unless they're free or penny-cheap at a yardsale) - but more upscale products with variations on handles, latching mechs, stacking ideas, sizes, internal compartmentalizing.

Many foods that come into the house in what seems to my friend to be perfectly serviceable (and professionally printed and labeled) containers are, I'm told, decanted upon arrival into these containers. This includes cereal, dried fruits and nuts, flour, sometimes snack items, etc.

As you might imagine, this leads to a proliferation of separate lids and containers, few of which compactly and efficiently nest inside each other for storage. Some manufacturers' attempts to size theirs in nesting sets are undone by the use of various manufacturers' mutually incompatible schemes.

Lids have to be stored separately - but where, asks my friend. I'm also told there can be a problem figuring out which lid goes on which container, and then parts are apparently lost - but who's going to throw the other piece away, because surely it'll turn up?

Labeling and content identity can become a problem. Masking tape and Sharpies are sometimes involved. On the other hand, some foods seem to go from package to plasticware to cabinet to refrigerator to garbage without anyone knowing (after the first decanting) what the hell it even is!

Why this containerization? Because bugs. Because humidity. (My friend is told every time the subject comes up.)

Obs 2: In this same household, milk is not routinely (or ever, that my friend can remember) decanted into glass pitchers.

One might conclude from this pair of observations that particular quirky or inexplicable food-handling conventions are not universal among those with whom we share our homes and kitchens, and are instead unique to each domestic situation.

Obs 3: Every time my friend has challenged the Plastic Container Regime, the conversation has either gone badly or at least produced no results. To this day, if you eat food in this particular household, you can be pretty sure it's spent time in plastic.

Conclusion: Don't fight the breakable milk jugs. Handle them carefully.

Does she let you have more than one guitar? 'nuff said.

81

What passes for logic among earthlings is only surpassed in illogic by that of the … distaff earthlings.

82

My friend's wife wants it known that the reason for the plastic is his unfortunate history of improperly closing the bags inside cereal boxes. And ants.

Also, not just any old brand of Tupperware replacements: only Lock-n-Lock.

83

I know people who buy Tupperware at garage sales, then turn the old ones in for replacement.

My wife has a drawer full of plastic tubs, or as we call them, gazintas. "The noodles gazinta that one." Some are of the free sort once the butter or whatever is gone and it's washed out. The drawer is most fascinating to my one year old grandson. What lid goes to what tub? The freebies are at least handy for nuts and bolts and hardware, and for LEGOs with the kids.

84

In our basement garage (where there is no room to fit even the VW Golf) we have stacked plastic storage boxes filled with other plastic storage boxes of (obviously) decreasing size, rather like those little wooden Russian dolls. Why do we have these? No idea.

85

We live in a Tupperwarian society.

I know this because one room in my basement is now filled with orphan lids to containers gone missing. They share the space with single socks, and worn or damaged pieces of furniture that my wife refuses to throw away, insisting they will be used on projects

I hope one project is a bonfire.

86

Ben Franklin said that moving to other homes twice equals one bonfire.

87

...improperly closing the bags inside cereal boxes. Maybe y’all don’t realize, but I think this might be a felony.

88

...improperly closing the bags inside cereal boxes. Maybe y’all don’t realize, but I think this might be a felony.

– Deed Eddy

Even more heinous than removing the tags on mattresses.

89

And ants.

Extra crunch and protein.

90

And ants.

Extra crunch and protein.

– Proteus

SSSHHH! Everyone else will want some!


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