Miscellaneous Rumbles

Don’t get old if you can avoid it

1

Just turned 50 last October and in the last 10 days I've had things called scopes up my bottom and scopes down my throat. My stomach did not turn out so good but not so bad either, my wife is more worried then i am. Man, when I think about it I was indestructible when I was 35 years old. Not so much any more. So a word to the wise. Stop getting old.

2

Tell me about getting old and things going wrong with the old body. I'm 65 and these are the medicines I take everyday, some ot them twice.

3

Pfft! 50 is young. My dad died in 2001 to multiple melonoma at the age of 53. I was 19 then and I although he'd be in his mid 60s today he sure has missed out on a lot. in those 11 years.

I hit 30 last January and that feels old to be outta my 20s. Maybe it's just hitting the next decade that feels so bad.

4

Ha! I laugh in the face of 50. :D

Well, in two years I will...I hope. :| 8-o

5

Yup! The worst is when the female nurses are cute and your kids age. There is no panache with your butt up and your drawers down I am afraid.

Another thing, we tell kids don't do drugs, and then when you get to our age, people ask you if you forgot to take your drugs.

6

I was born old, so I'm used to it. Could use a good massage from time to time though...

7

There's only one surefire way to keep from getting old. It's called dying young.

Me, I'd rather get HELLA old (no matter WHAT Pete Townshend says)! However, there are some things that can help you not FEEL old, and I've been doing 'em for quite a while now.

They work!

8

I've lived long enough to acknowledge, and become a partaker of, the, "Frosty The Snowman Syndrome."

Falling apart, leaving pieces behind, as I trudge toward the sun, turning around to wave bye at the kids....

9

I turn 50 this year...but I've had scopes in all my orifices.

Just not by doctors.

aliens

10

"Don't get old, if you can avoid it." I'm trying my damndest. When I play my Gretsch guitars at a gig, I'm still 18. Next morning, I'm #? again.

11

Jeff, how many times do I have to remind you to wear your aluminum foil-lined hat?

12

Jeff O, I had a doctor once who I'm sure was of alien descent, so determined to stick his finger up one of my orifices and have a feel of my prostate, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't talk him out of it. I even said I'd had a rather messy shit that morning and he still wanted to finger me!

In the end I just let him go for it. Now he checks my prostate regularly and doesn't even charge for the service. That's a real doctor for you!

13

Parabar said: There's only one surefire way to keep from getting old. It's called dying young.

I tell my patients, "There's only one way to not get older. If you feel well, you're not ready for that."

15

When you get older, bits and pieces stop working or malfunction, which is worrying. Then you get a little bit older again and you forget about it! 8-o

17

When I hit 21, I went to all the night clubs, strip bars and joints I could up in North Beach, Broadway street, San Francisco and realized I wasn't missing anything at all - Lol! :|

Just my hard earned money!

18

I'm 60 but due to working pretty hard most my life I'm in relative good shape. I have put on too many pounds in the last 4 years since I have a cushier job. But I have a gym membership....it is not doing a whole lot of good though, the monthly bill keeps coming in though.Oh, you say I gotta go to the gym for it to work.

19

The golden years are greatly overrated

Mark Twain said "If you can't make 70 by a comfortable road, don't go."

20

"I've had things called scopes up my bottom and scopes down my throat"

I hope they washed it first! 8-o

Just turned 50 myself. Like they say "if I'da known I was gonna live this long I'da taken better care of myself"... :P

21

"I've had things called scopes up my bottom and scopes down my throat"

I hope they washed it first! 8-o

Just turned 50 myself. Like they say "if I'da known I was gonna live this long I'da taken better care of myself"... :P

– Blutonium

"I've had things called scopes up my bottom and scopes down my throat"

I hope they washed it first! 8-o

Just turned 50 myself. Like they say "if I'da known I was gonna live this long I'da taken better care of myself"... :P

– Blutonium

Here's a doctor joke:

They've invented a very long scope that lets you combine an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy. Goes in fine, tastes terrible coming out.

22

...as a (so far) colon cancer survivor, the worst part about colonoscopies is drinking the damned "prep". That stuff is NASTY (it cleans like a white tornado tho...) 8-o

23

I don't really mind all that much to be getting older. I think it beats the alternative.:D

24

Roger marries at age 85 At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door,and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger Is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.' Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'

The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.

25

Do you think they'll come up with a better way to do a colonscopy soon?

Seriously!

Were into the 21 Century now and on the cutting edge of medical technology, X-Rays, Scans and everything else.

They now have small high tech meters that can detect water and moisture content in the walls of one's house,

I saw one today as a matter of fact.


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