Oooh...wha'd Timmy get, and not his birthday or NOTHIN'!?

Is it...a FENder?

Could be. Box says so.

I dunno, though...not a Fender-lookin' case.

Well it isn't an archtop.

No, it's not an archtop. Quite solid-bodied. Mahogany, in fact.

You sold all your gear and bought a '55 White Penguin?

I have no quarrel with the intrinsic quality and musical satisfaction to be derived from vintage guitars, but I'm a junkie for variety, which on my budget dictates gear of more recent manufacture.

So, no!

Golly, such a skinny case...

Obscured by clouds of glory...

WHUT THE!

NO! OMG no!

He didn't! Say it ain't so.

IMPOSSIBLE!

UNTHNKABLE!

But...what other guitar has that complement of pickups?

Switchtip and knobs like that?

INCONCEIVABLE!

I know, right? It's like...global warming...infernal cooling...

Balance in the universe.

Could've been worse.

At least it isn't an accordion.

At least an accordian is genuinely Teutonic.

badass Duesenberg Multibender tailpiece for kool double bends

'time to 'fess up to it.

Very cool. I'd be into a single 8 version of something like that.

Yeah...to my knowledge, no one else makes anything similar, what with the palm-pedal system (which is expandable up to 6)...

(This one set up to bend the 2nd string up a full step, and the 3rd string up a half.)

...and the unfathomably-named "capodaster,"

a clever and well-engineered sliding nut/capo letting you change keys easily without retuning.