Holy Effin' SHIT, I am about ready to SMASH this 5120 into little orange SMITHEREENS and go out and do a naked interpretive dance in the ROAD after spending three goddamn HOURS trying to change the strings.
First off, hello, Mr. Bigsby, why in the HELL do you make us deal with those little PINS, instead of doing the decent, American thing, and putting some nice soft-edged HOLES in that gawdfersaken Bigsby bar?!? I know it's been addressed before in these very pages, but I IMPLORE you sir, I BEG OF YOU, I mean, WTF?
Secondly, I got this friggin' floating bridge that's dancing around like a goddamn Barishnikov while I'm tryin' to maintain a 20-lb. tension on the A string so's I can...
DAMN! It popped off the pin again. HEY! BOY! Go fetch me one of your pink pearl erasers you used when you were in the third grade. Yeah, the first time. Thank you! Okay, now that sumbitch will stay put. Jesus, what am I, tying a dry FLY here? Time to crack another barley pop.
Okay, I'm stringing these babies up through the Planet Waves Trim-Lock⢠tuners so I can..HEY! Why'd you cut the damn string off! Mother...that ain't right. It ain't fair!
Do I tighten the dooley-bob first? Or do I just turn the tuner until it...HEY! MOTHER (garbled) Fletcher...who drank my beer...
Look at that bridge...it's like Disney On Ice. Holy Schnickes, I'll never get this done. Got a gig tomorrow. I will be playing the Telecaster.
Sometimes, man, the Gretsch is just more complimicated than it's worth.
